


Windows to the Soul

by SimmeringSun



Series: Siblings of Light [10]
Category: Rockman | Mega Man - All Media Types, Rockman | Mega Man Classic
Genre: Child Neglect, Dehumanization, Dr. Light's A+ Parenting, Dr. Wily's A+ Parenting, Dysfunctional Family, Gen, Headcanon, Self-Hatred, Siblings
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-12
Updated: 2018-11-12
Packaged: 2019-08-22 13:57:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,977
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16599191
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SimmeringSun/pseuds/SimmeringSun
Summary: "Some say that eyes are the windows to the soul.", Dr. Light had told Blues.The next day Dr. Light gave Blues sunglasses to cover his eyes.(Or the one where Blues is self conscious about his eyes and his siblings help.)





	Windows to the Soul

“Some say that eyes are the windows to the soul.” 

Dr. Light had muttered this phrase under his breath as he examined Blues’ eyes with an intensity that made the robot squirm. Calloused fingers had tapped his eyes and shone lights that made him hiss through clenched teeth. Dr. Light made a noise of interest, but said nothing else. He wrote down a note on a notebook lying open on the work table, and offered a quick “We’ll get this fixed.” before he went back to his work.

Blues hopped off the table, and tried to think about what the doctor had told him. Blues loved when the doctor told him sayings and words of wisdom. He didn’t get what most of them meant, but the satisfaction of hearing the doctor talk to him made him smile. Blues just loved when the doctor pulled himself away from his work and gave him attention. But words have been said less and less between them these days.

The next day the doctor had held out a pair of sunglasses to him.

“To cover your eyes. They make the light less bright.”

Blues put the glasses on and felt a sigh sweep over him. The saturated lights around him dulled, and for the first time he was able to look around without feeling a searing pain in his head.

He put them on and looked in the mirror. The glasses made him look like one of the guys in the magazines that Blues had seen when he poked around in Dr. Light’s attic. He crossed his arms and felt a small smile cross his face. 

“Thanks.”, He said happily as he turned around, but Dr. Light was already gone.

Blues didn’t even notice it at the time, and these days he’d curse himself at how blind he was.

It all connected in the end: The words that came out less and less, the way Dr. Light would ask him softly to put his glasses on when he had forgotten, the harsh whispers Light and Wily would share when they thought he was charging. 

“He’s just a weapon.”

Blues has tried to reason with himself; he really has. “He pushed you away because he loved you.”, He would force himself to think. “He knew he’d have to send you to fight, to die, and he was scared.”

But it hurt to think that way. It was too hopeful to think that the man he looked up to had loved him. It hurt too much to think that those few hugs in the beginning and those kind words had meant something, because now they meant nothing. Dr. Light had replaced him afterall. 

Blues loved his siblings, he really did, but there was no denying that they have replaced him. The doctor gave them hugs and words of praise. He would worry about their well beings, but he would never go out and help Blues.

If that wasn’t proof enough, one look at their eyes proved it. They had human eyes.

The first time Blues had saw Rock’s eyes, he froze up. They were angry. Rock was so angry for what Blues had done to Roll, and Blues suddenly understood the meaning of the phrase “If looks could kill”. The look that Rock had given him haunted Blues for some time. Those eyes told him all he needed to know: “I will not hesitate to kill you.”

These days they look at him with warmth. He and Rock got along well these days. Blues would visit his siblings in the night once a week, and a look of happiness would greet him. Rock’s eyes were a deep blue, and they have never looked at Blues with that look of hate again. Blues has promised himself that he’d keep it that way.

Roll’s eyes were blue too, but they were a lighter shade than Rock’s. They are so full of happiness and light, that Blues can’t help but smile when he sees his sister. They crinkle at the edges when she smiles, and her pupils would get larger when she saw something they’d like.

Blues loved his siblings, and he loved their eyes. Their human-like eyes meant that they were made with care. Their eyes meant that they would be loved, and Blues was happy for them. 

He felt out of place with his eyes at first, but he quickly realized that they can’t see them. As long as Blues wore his sunglasses, they would think that he was like them. They’d see him as their problematic brother instead of a weapon.

When Blues first met Forte, he thought that he could stop the ruse. He thought he could take his helmet and sunglasses off, and Forte wouldn’t say a word. But the more time he spent with his best friend, the more he realized that he was wrong.

Sure Forte was made to fight Mega Man, but he was also made with feeling. Forte's eyes were very human, and were arguably the most expressive eyes that Blues has ever seen. Forte could roll his eyes when Blues said something he thought was dumb. Forte could send Blues a message with a single look. 

“Let’s get out of here.”, Forte’s eyes could say when the mall security was chasing after them.

Blues’ eyes couldn’t do that. Blues’ eyes were cold and silent.

“I’m a monster.”, Blues says to himself as he looks into a cracked mirror he found laying by a dumpster. He was sitting down on the damp newspapers he laid out under the abandoned bridge he stayed under. He peered down at his face through the broken mirror.

He poked his eyes and felt sadness when he felt no pain. He felt tears build up when he really looks into his green orbs. There’s no pupils, or whites. His eyes are just a pixelated green. He couldn’t roll his eyes or look anywhere without turning his head.

Blues hated his eyes. He just wanted to feel human like his siblings. He wished Dr. Light had made him to be a son.

Blues tossed the mirror to the side,and rubbed his eyes before he put his sunglasses back on. He really wasn’t feeling good today, but he had to go out. He promised Forte they would go get chicken nuggets, and he didn’t want to back out.

“Ugh, why the fuck are you always late.”, Forte whined as he threw his head back when Blues got there. Blues shrugged with a small smile, and the two went on their way.

One thing lead to another, and the two were kicked out of McDonalds for the third time that week. The two ran away laughing, sauce crusting over on the sides of their mouth. It was getting dark, and Blues barely noticed an uneven edge in the ground. It became painfully aware to him when his foot caught the edge of the crack and he fell flat on his face. Blues felt his core stop when he heard the crack, and the pieces of plastic prick the skin around his eyes.

“What the hell dude, you just fell on your face.”, Forte says between laughs. His laughs died down when Blues picked his head up and the broken sunglasses fall from his face.

“Oh.”, Forte says, his laughter dying down. Forte is the only person Blues has ever shown his eyes to, but it was just once, and it was pretty dark out. The streetlamp they're under shines against dimly lit green eyes. 

Blues slowly picks the big pieces of plastic that are still on his face off. He lets the fact that his only wall between his eyes and the world is gone and he immediately gets up.

“I-I need to go get my helmet.”, Blues says. He definitely can't afford new sunglasses. He'll just have to wear his helmet all the time. 

“What?”, Forte asks confused. “It's dark outside. Won't your eyes be fine without shades?”

“Yeah but you never know.”, Blues says without looking at Forte. He feels exposed. If Forte looks too long into his eyes he might see, and that terrifies Blues.

“It's fine.”, Forte says as he rolls his eyes. “The arcade is going to close soon, we gotta go now.”

“Then go without me.”

“Come on, why is this making you so jumpy?”

“I'm not jumpy.”, Blues says quickly. A person passes by them and Blues immediately looks down.

“Yes you are!”, Forte retorts. “Why do you want to cover your eyes so bad?”

Forte is slowly approaching Blues now. He moves closer and bends down until him and Blues are at eye level. Bright red looks into deep green, and Blues takes a step back. Forte’s eyes widen a fraction, and it's all Blues needs before he turns and runs.

“Blues!”, He hears Forte call out behind him, but the robot doesn't stop running. 

When he makes it to the bridge, he's breathing hard. He frantically looks around in the poorly lit area and sees his helmet sitting next to a pile of papers. He pulls his helmet on his head and the world dims around him, but he still feels like his systems need more air.

Forte saw it. He was looking so closely that he must have recognised the eyes of a weapon. How could he ever face Forte again?

“Blues!”, He hears a voice say. Blues feels his breath quicken as he turns to see Forte standing at the mouth of the tunnel.

“God damn, how do you run so fast?”, Forte asks. Blues can't bring himself to look up, but he can hear him moving closer.

“Seriously Blues, what the hell?”, Forte asks. “What's wrong with your eyes?”

The words hit Blues hard.

“They're messed up I know.”, Blues says as he laughs weakly. He drags his head up and sees that Forte's eyes are widened.“I'm a weapon, now you know.”

“What are you talking about?”, Forte asks.

“You saw my eyes, right?”, Blues asks. 

“Yeah, and?”, Forte says with a shrug.

“And? I thought you saw them..”

“Yeah, I did see them, and they looked cool. Is that what you wanted me to say? Why did you run off?”, Forte asks. He looks as confused as Blues feels.

“He must not have seen them at all.”, Blues thought. He forces a small smile on his face and tries to cover up how embarrassed he feels. Even if Forte hadn’t saw, he still did see Blues run away.

“Alright, let’s go to the arcade.”, Blues says as he stands up. Forte opens his mouth to say something, but his eyes fall to Blues’ smile and he forms one of his own.

“I guess we can still have enough time to play a couple of games if we hurry.”, Forte says. He begins to rattle off about a trick he learned to up his high score in this one fighting game, and Blues pretends to listen by nodding in time. 

His mind keeps wandering about his broken shades. He has the pieces, but taping them would just look silly. He didn't have enough money to buy new ones though. He always saved up to buy stuff for his siblings or to buy warm clothing for the winter. He’d just have to wear his helmet all the time until he can afford new ones.

Blues slowly turns into what Forte is saying, and catches a glimpse of himself in the smudged glass of the arcade door. He thinks about his siblings, and how they would respond if they saw his eyes. Images of Rock and Roll looking at him with fear and disgust clouded his mind. It was bad enough that his hair and voice was unnatural compared to theirs. They’d really think he was a monster if they saw his eyes.


End file.
